Sunday, October 14, 2012

Creative Writing: Circa 1988



NERO 
by Dino Lorenzo
 

   My father always said that I should make sure I told the truth no matter what anyone says. So, I'm gonna tell my story to you all. Ain't nobody ever believed it before except Nero, but that don't help me none 'cause he was just a dog. Even if he could talk, he couldn't help me now. That's pretty much what this story is all about, so I guess I better tell you about Nero before you can understand the rest.

   There wasn't a better dog to ever walk the earth than Nero, or a bigger one. He stood damn near to my elbow, and if he raised up on his back legs, he was taller than I am. I weigh near to two hundred pounds and I ain't at all sure that he didn't weigh half as much as me. He ate more than me, that's for sure. 
   Nero used to belong to Mr. Turley, this rich dude from the east side of town. Sometimes he would come over to the poor areas to play cards with us common people. I guess with a dog like that with him, he figured he was as safe as he could be even in the roughest neighborhoods. One day, we was taking him pretty good and he ran out of money right in the middle of a hand. I was the only one still in when he said he would put up Nero to balance the rest of the pot. I didn't know how much a dog like that was worth, but I figured he must have had a hand and a half to be risking him like that. I was just gonna fold when I looked over at Nero. He was looking at Turley's cards and I swear to you that dog was sneering. So, I stayed in and it turned out that Turley was bluffing the whole time.
   I don't even know what kind of dog he was; we sure didn't have no dogs like that where I grew up. Turley told me once but I never could say it right. All I knew was that he was big, he was white and I was glad he was on my side.
   Anyway, I never had a problem feeding a dog that ate more than most grown men. Seeing as how I didn't have a job at that time, I couldn't exactly afford to buy dog chow or anything like that; but the thing was, the place I was living in wasn't exactly the high rent part of town, and it sure didn't hurt for people to know that the biggest dog in the world was living in the same building they was. So, everyone who lived there would save scraps and bring them down for Nero to eat. Sometimes after dinner, he would go out and sit on the front step, and he would look just like one of them statues like they have on the building fronts over on the east side. He had this way of sitting there that made you feel he thought he owned the whole building, and when I thought about it, I wasn't so sure he wasn't right. I didn't think Nero was ever afraid of nothing, and I always felt like nothing could hurt me when he was sitting there.
    There was this one time when we was on our way home and we took a shortcut through this alley. Behind the alley's buildings was the Sluice-way, an artificial channel that was made to steer excess water into the river. As we were walking past it, these three big guys jumped out and started waving knives in my face. Nero started growling way down in his throat, and I mean it made your teeth hurt just to hear it. His ears were all laid back and he was standing in the shadows with his teeth showing around his mouth, and it looked like his eyes were glowing all by themselves. I remember thinking that if I ever saw anything like that and it was growling at me, I would just die of fright right then and there. Them guys just started backing off real slow, and all of a sudden they took off running. I never seen anyone run faster than them three guys did that night. Anyway, it always seemed like Nero never knew what it was to be scared, and that's what makes what I'm gonna tell you so hard to figure.

   It all started when was on our way back from the market. Old Mrs. Cameron, she lived right above us, had given us some money for groceries. She was an elderly widow and couldn't get around much anymore, so she would buy us some groceries if we would pick up hers. We was just coming around a corner when all of a sudden, Nero stopped. He was crouched down low and all his hair was standing up. It was like he was growling and whining at the same time. He started backing up real slow and growling louder and louder. Now, I could see down the whole street and there wasn't nothing I could see to be afraid of. Far as I could tell, the place was empty.
   I started to walk past Nero, but he just growled louder and got in front of me. He was really acting scared and since I had never seen him like that before, I started to get scared, too. I figured if anything could make Nero look like that, I didn't want to be in the same place with it whether I could see it or not. So, we backed off and went the long way around. All the way home, Nero kept looking like he was ashamed of himself, but he never stopped looking all around and his body never did relax until we were back in out little room with the door locked.
   It wasn't until the next afternoon that I heard about the guy they found cut up all over the sidewalk. When Bob told me where they had found him, I felt cold all over. They found him right in the middle of the street that Nero wouldn't let me walk down.

   Whoever he had been, the guy sure wasn't the last victim of the "Mangler", as the press guys took to calling him. Four men and three women were found butchered in the next month and the cops never did come up with any leads. I didn't tell them about what happened to me, 'cause I really didn't need to be seen down at the statioon in those days. Not that I did anything bad, you understand, but just 'cause I hung around with people that wouldn't think much of me if I associated with police types.
   Our town wasn't that large of a place, and this was, for sure, the biggest thing that had ever happened here and our police department really wasn't big enough to handle it. So, before the first couple of bodies had become old news, the whole place was crawling with feds. All of the killings seemed to take place on our side of town, which most people figured was 'cause of what they called the "poorer element".

   On the night of the next killing, Nero and I were asleep in our first floor apartment when I was woke up by the sound of him growling. He was facing the window which opened out to the street, and as he started sounding more scared, I don't have to tell you that I was too frightened to move. Nero just stood there, backed all the way against the wall across from the window, growling as if there was something out there. I still couldn't move as I watched his eyes follow something passing in front of the window from right to left. 
   When I thought that whatever it was had past by, I forced myself to get up and look out the window. Nero was still scared and wouldn't come any closer to the window, but when I looked out,  I couldn't see anybody anywhere. 
   I figured I wouldn't get anymore sleep that night, but it wasn't more than an hour before I did. Suddenly, Nero started that whining growl again and I sat up. This time, he was looking at the other side of the room - at the side with the door. I was so scared that I almost couldn't breathe... and then the doorknob slowly started to turn.
   Nero almost went crazy when the door started to open and sprung, flying across the room and slamming the door shut. Whatever was on the other side of that door tried to force it open, but Nero was strong and scared stiff. I was wide-eyed with fear as I watched him trying with all his might to keep that door shut. Just when I thought he was going to give in, the door slammed the rest of the way shut. Nero didn't stop though, he was sticking to that door and there wasn't nothing that was gonna get him away from it. He stayed that way all night, even when we heard the screams from upstairs and on to the morning when the cops came. It took me nearly twenty minutes to get him to let the police guys in when they came to the door. Finally he slumped, let out this big sigh and went over to his spot and laid down. Wasn't no time at all until he was sleeping like a big dog will, sounder than anything.
   Well, them cops weren't too taken with my story, especially the part about the killer almost forcing the door open past my, like they said, humungous dog. They kept trying to find some connection between the other stiffs and Mrs. Cameron, who wasn't going to be buying us anymore groceries. They weren't letting anyone in her room upstairs, but from the smell, I didn't think I much wanted to go in there anyway. 
   They took us all downtown for questioning, and that's the only time I recall Nero acting like he was glad to be away from that building. The feds were real nasty to me, like they thought I was hiding something. I guess the way things turned out, they kinda did. 
   After they let us out of the station house, we went over to Bob's for a couple of beers. Bob let me buy my beer on tab, and I always took whatever money I happened on into him - the part that was left after my landlord took my rent anyway. I was kinda like famous at Bob's that night, having lived just below the latest victim and being there at the time and all. Guys kept buying me beers and wanting to hear my story, and one of them even bought Nero a beer. This other guy said he would give me five hundred bucks for Nero, but I wouldn't have sold him for a million dollars. that dog saved my life more than once, and I figured I owed him whatever I could do for him as long as he lived. Anyway, we kinda forgot the time, and it was near to two in the morning when Bob told us we had to go home 'cause he was fixing to close up for the night.

   Even with my dog with me, I didn't feel too safe that night, so we stayed on the streets that had the most lights. We was halfway home when Nero started to shy away from the side of the building we was passing.  Since he wasn't growling, I figured it was probably safe to take the shortcut through the alley, past the Sluice-way and we'd be home in minutes. I had only gone a little ways in when I smelled the stink. It was almost as bad as the one from Mrs. Cameron's room.
   I was about ready to turn and run when I saw the legs of a young woman sticking out from behind a trash can. I ran over to see if she was still alive, and when I saw the rest of her it was easy to tell that there wasn't nobody that could have helped her. The smell was so bad I was almost sick. I ran past the Sluice-way and down the alley towards home so I could call the police, but I was only about halfway there when I ran into Nero. He was backing up, growling real loud and looking more scared than I ever saw him before. He was staring at something coming down the alley towards us, but I couldn't see nothing nowhere. I backed up with him until I almost slipped, and when I looked down I saw I was standing in the poor girl's blood. My heart was beating so fast I felt like it was shaking my whole body.
   Then, Nero jumped into the air right in front of us, in full attack mode. While I backed up against the wall, he was thrown against the back of the building, almost ten feet away. His whine while he slid down that wall was the worst sound I had ever heard in my life. Somehow, he got back up and sprang back into the center of the alley. His head snapped to the side and big gashes, three of them, opened up all by themselves on his neck. Blood ran down the side of his head and stained his white coat. He went down in a heap. I stood there, frozen, as more cuts appeared in the side of his body. 
   I had to do something, anything. I owed him my life, and I just couldn't let him die like that. I felt something under my foot and when I looked down, it was a knife. I guess the girl had tried to defend herself while she still could. I grabbed the knife and started running toward my dog. A box on the ground between us was swept away like in a high wind, but there wasn't even a breeze. I held the knife in front of me, but I still couldn't see anything to stab. The first thing I felt was a blow to my side; I felt my skin rip apart and I wondered what it would feel like to die. Then, something hard struck the bottom of my chin and I flew backwards against the building. I lay there and waited - there wasn't anything else I could do. 
   I was about to close my eyes when I saw Nero. I'll never know how, but he had gotten up again and was attacking the air about three feet in front of me. What happened next was probably the most awesome fight for survival there ever was. Lots of times, he fell down, but he just get getting back up and tearing at whatever it was, blood - that wasn't his - beginning to stain his snout. Nero was biting and snarling and gaining ground, backing whatever it was toward the Sluice-way. For a second, I thought I could see something. It was big. Really big. It looked like it was made out of all claws and teeth. The whole area seemed to be red, then I figured it was my blood running down into my eyes. Nero sprang one final time and caught the thing in it's neck, savagely ripping out it's throat. The creature grabbed at it's fresh wound and teetered on the edge of the Sluice-way... and then, it fell and was gone.
   Nero lay still for what seemed like forever, then looked over at me. He dragged himself over to me on the three legs he could still use and licked my face. I hugged him to me as he slumped to the ground with his head in my lap. He let out one last big sigh and lay still. I held him there, knowing that he was dead and that I was alive because of him. And that's why there never was a better dog than Nero, and never will be. 
   The cops found me there like that, with the bloody knife next to me and my prints all over it. When the knife turned out to be what had made at least some of the wounds on the girl, they figured they had all the proof they needed. They figured they got the "Mangler". My story? All that got me was an insanity defense. At least that's what my high-falutin' lawyer guy called it. 
   So, that's why I'm here, and that's why I'm gonna ride that chair tomorrow. For the murder of ten people and one dog. Since there haven't been any more killings, everyone figures it must have been me, but I know better. I don't mind being in here; after what I've seen I really don't want to be alone at night anyway. And I don't even mind that I won't be alive after tomorrow; that means I only have to make it through one more night with my dreams.

   The only thing I hate is... I just wish that everyone could know what Nero did for me, and what he did for them, even when it killed him to do it.


THE END

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Jonah Hex: Reinhold Borsten's Origin:






Jonah Hex: Road Reapers Logo


   I'm working on a new 1/6 scale Jonah Hex project and need a pic drawn up like the "Road Reapers" motorcycle gang's colors. Here are a few shots from the 1980's "Hex" series, where Jonah is time-warped to the future. It's widely regarded as a huge mistake fro the character and only lasted 18 issues, but I think it was good old sci-fi fun with a character I loved. A cheap, easy read!














   I any artists want to donate a design, I would greatly appreciate it!

Sunday, April 29, 2012

The Malev Empire



   I love the Valiant Universe. And one of my favorite titles in it was Magnus: Robot Fighter, the tale of a man in the robot polluted 41st Century who was raised and trained by robot 1-A to combat robots who have gone "freewill" and rebel against mankind... and most times, he identified more with the robot's views, but did what he had to do to please the populace and his politically driven future father-in-law, Senator Clane.






   One of Magnus's greatest enemies were the Malevs, a race of robots dedicated to ruling the universe. And we're gonna trace a bit of their history, mainly because there seems to be no Malev fans ANYWHERE online, except me!


SOLAR: MAN OF THE ATOM #20:


   Needing a break from his mounting pressures with his girl, Solar takes off into space and encounters what he believes is an alien ship.






   Before he knows what's happening, the ship starts to drain his energy.








   Solar manages to distract the ship with an energy being he makes real and escapes. Realizing the ship is too powerful to destroy, he decides to help it on it's journey!











Magnus: Robot Fighter (vol. 1)  #7:


   Magnus first encountered the Malev Empire in Gold Key's Magnus: Robot Fighter # 7 when he was taken to their planet, Malev 6.




   Malev 6 goes on to explain it's origins.






   As Magnus fights for his life against Malev 6's endless supply of robots, Leeja Clane, Magnus's main squeeze, is learning from an elderly telepath named M'ree that when 1000 minds are brought together, they can harness and incredible mental energy (more on this in the next post!). Using Leeja's love for Magnus, 1000 people gather together and use their minds and allow Magnus to destroy the planet...





   As is often the case in comic book land, the enemy did not stay dead for long. In fact, when the Malevs returned, it would mark an incredible change in the direction of mankind.

NEXT TIME: The Malev Return (for the 1st time)

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Evil Dead 2 Piano Sheet Music by Joseph Joe LoDuca?!

As long as I have loved the Evil Dead films, I have also loved Joseph LoDuca's scores. You could actually see his work strengthening and HEAR him getting better and better with each subsequent score (and NOT just the Evil Dead films).

Being a piano player, I have always dreamed of getting the sheet music to the hauntingly beautiful piano piece that Ash (Bruce Campbell) plays at the cabin, while his girlfriend dances around in the "vacuuformed" shirt. Well, now, thanks to eBay, I can!

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Evil-Dead-2-Dead-by-Dawn-Soundtrack-Sheet-Music-by-Joseph-LoDuca-RARE-OOP-/220971338603?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3372eb0b6b

It seems a bit pricey, but for some seriously RARE sheet music, it just may be worth it!

*Anyone looking for the sheet music for this piece? It's available for $9.99 Shipped (in the USA). Email me!

Friday, December 9, 2011

The Evil Dead 2 Commentary Track: Part Three



DVD CHAPTER THREE:

SAM:
 ...came out of the ford factory. Problem was, it was an oldsmobile.

LAUGHS

BRUCE:
Yeah because I...

GREG:
That's a miniature, too, right?

SAM:
 Yeah, again Bob Dyke and Tom shot that first piece.

BRUCE:
That then goes into the location.
I actually kinda like this sequence.
This is a good ridiculous sequence.

GREG:
This was the first day we had that the dummy of you that
we pulled through the windshield on the wire.

BRUCE:
Right.

SCOTT:
You mean that wasn't Bruce?

BRUCE:
HAHA!
[ACTING LIKE HE HAS A BROKEN JAW]
No, that was me Scott.

SAM:
Bruce, you were doing the driving in shots like that though, weren't you?

BRUCE:
 I was doing some of it, yeah.

GREG:
John Casino was he...

BRUCE:
John Casino was my stuntman for a total of probably 2 shots in the
whole movie cause Sam refused to let him do anything.

GREG:
Suddenly, it's dark.

SAM:
Because the more that there was a chance of Bruce hurting himself,
the more appealing it is to let him do his own work.

GREG:
Not only that but with Casino, it was too much of a gamble.

LAUGHS

GREG:
Hello?

SCOTT:
 Hey, it's night!

BRUCE:
See, that branch was piloted by Sam Raimi. I want you to know that.

SCOTT:
I know, you can just tell. It's got an extra evil force to it. [whip}

BRUCE:
Now, that rock salt was also thrown by Sam....

SAM:
this is the ramo-cam. this is the most frightening shot ever to film.
That thing built by Vern Hyde

GREG:
Vern Hyde, yeah.

SAM:
And uh Dale.

BRUCE:
Which was basically a steel pole about 30 feet long with a camera...

GREG:
Yeah.

BRUCE:
…attached to the end.

GREG:
 It had a spike on it.

SAM:
And it weighed hundreds of pounds.

BRUCE:
Yeah, it was horrible.

SAM:
And then you better… I remember just ramming that thing.

BRUCE:
 It took 6 or 7 of us cause then ya hadda feed it through
once you got it the back windshield

GREG:
 Lookit. I love this. You have to point out, you can see over
the edge of the set in in all these shots.

SCOTT:
Don't ruin the illusion.

GREG:
Oh look, there's the...

SAM:
There's the roof.

SCOTT:
Don't.

BRUCE:
I just love how big the cabin is inside.

GREG:
It's huge.

SCOTT:
But why wasn't it on an aluminum pole or something?
I mean the thing was like rigged to break.

GREG:
Because it was st... Nah, it was steel to puncture the windshield.

SCOTT:
Oh, I thought that was on a rig to explode and timing wise, but I guess not.

BRUCE:
It was, but that would have been too easy.

LAUGHS

GREG:
Where did Bruce go?

BRUCE:
 I love being so fast that I fake this thing out.

SCOTT:
LAUGHS

GREG:
And then it just gets pissed and pulls back.

SCOTT:
You’re getting pretty good. It's the second night in the cabin there.

BRUCE:
The cool thing about this is uh the hidden cuts throughout here to
link the outside location to the inside studio.

SCOTT:
No, it was all one shot.

BRUCE:
 I'll never tell where they are.

SCOTT:
It was all one shot. Yeah.

BRUCE:
Yeah, yeah.

GREG:
Just keeps going all the way to Rockingham.

BRUCE:
Yes. Well, everything's ok now.

SCOTT:
LAUGHS

GREG:
That was cool.

SCOTT:
 I think I'll redecorate.

BRUCE:
Sam, we sorta got hassled by having one person alone
for so much of this movie, didn't we?

SCOTT:
From who?

BRUCE:
I mean, from... from the studio.

SAM:
From Dino?

BRUCE:
[IMITATING DINO DELAURENTIIS]
 “Sam, you can't have one man for half an hour alone.”

SCOTT:
Yeah, but didn't he read the script? I mean it was there.

SAM:
Actually, I wanted to make the whole movie with you alone.

The Evil Dead 2 Commentary Track: Part Two

DVD CHAPTER TWO:

SAM:
 ...in our Ferndale office collecting dust for about 7 years.

LAUGHS

SCOTT:
Eagerly awaiting the sequel.

BRUCE:
What about the knife of the dea...
You know. the the was that, did that still exist?

SAM:
Tom Sullivan designed both that original large scale Kandarian dagger
and the Book of the Dead and their both, I think, both the originals are
used in Evil Dead 2 here.

BRUCE:
Right. And this cabin was re... was basically ummm, constructed on the, on the... on a guy's personal property in Wade...

GREG:
Where they shot Color Purple.

BRUCE:
Wadesboro, North Carolina.

GREG:
And all of this was built, the whole set was a 2 story set built
in a gymnasium of the J.R. Faison high school in Wadesboro.

BRUCE:
That's right.

GREG:
Don't ask me why I remember that.

BRUCE:
Although, weird little bits like this were part of
reshoots that were actually done in a warehouse,

SCOTT:
And that was in Dearborn?

BRUCE:
Yeah, in Michigan.

GREG:
Oh, that's right. Cause we flew in and did reshoots there.

BRUCE:
Right.

SCOTT:
What the... quiet.

GREG:
We don't want him to find us out here. yeah, this is the same
property where they shot Color Purple. There's a house...

SCOTT:
Oh.

SAM:
No! That wig is from K-Mart!

BRUCE:
Oh, man. There's no question about that.

GREG:
So, the first, the first 3 weeks we were out on location
shooting nights and they built the uh the castle, I remember...

SAM:
Say hello to Poppa!

SCOTT:
Recap the decap!

BRUCE:
The relationship was cut short.

GREG:
Remember when she had her tennis shoes on? And we did the slow motion shot and you had to cut out before we saw her feet cause she had her tennis shoes on?

SAM:
 I do remember that.

SCOTT:
Of all the...

SAM:
How do you remember that strange fact?

GREG:
 I watched the tapes last night.

BRUCE:
There';s the amulet! the 12 dollar amulet.

SCOTT:
The amulet. OUCH!

SAM:
You know, on a night when all this horror is going on, how does he have time to craft that big cross? It's like, just bury her and get inside and bolt the door, for god's sake.

BRUCE:
Sam, don't say that. Ash is a very skillful man.

SCOTT:
Bolt the door.

SAM:
Skip the arts & crafts, buddy.

GREG:
Ok.

BRUCE:
Sam, will you explain this phoney um, this handheld stuff... the shakey-cam?

GREG:
Shakey-cam.

SAM:
This shot is actually shot on a motorcycle I was riding, camera mounted to it with a spring plate that we designed. I remember when they didn't pull open this second door I once slammed into that. Bruce, this is the shot where I uh I broke your jaw.

GREG:
Yeah, right there.

BRUCE:
Right, which wound up being the last shot we shot of the movie because in case anything happened to me, we'd be fine.

GREG:
How long did it take to shoot this shot? A whole day, right?

BRUCE:
As I recall, it was one full day which this was ironically shot in South Carolina, outside of Cheraw, South Carolina cause we had to find a road that was at least like a mile long where Sam could personally torment me...

GREG:
 With branches and stuff?

BRUCE:
 ...on his little rig where he would spin me back and forth in either direction.

SAM:
That was the most fun I had all shoot was spinning you on that Rheostat,
backwards and forwards, ramming you through trees...

BRUCE:
 Yes, just playing me like a video game.

GREG:
This was the first of many torturous times of Bruce in the makeup with the contact lenses. the makeup was sculpted by Howard Berger. i remember Sam kept saying "Open your eyes! Open your eyes!".

BRUCE:
I know, but what was so weird was that I couldn't tell if my eyes were open or not.

GREG:
Cause of the contacts and the water...

BRUCE:
Right. You can't always really tell.

GREG:
And I kept saying "He's gonna open his eyes and the lenses
will wash away, so we better be careful".

BRUCE:
At this point, Peter Deming came to join in

GREG:
Yes.

BRUCE:
Of this footage and I think some of the first stuff Peter had to shoot
was doing exposure changes and reverse motion which obviously
was a good hello to this movie for Peter Deming.

GREG:
Escatly. And there's actually a closeup here of the eye-changing which we shot in the parking lot at KNB. That right there, that Bob Kurtzman did.

BRUCE:
Which was an oversized piece?

GREG:
Yep, oversized eyeball.

SAM:
Gee, that shot's so good it looks like it must have
been shot in a garage and not a parking lot.

LAUGHS

SAM:
Yeah, that was Peter Deming's first day, I do remember that because
Eugene Shlagleet and the rest of the first crew left.

SCOTT:
Right.

SAM:
They didn't wanna do all the...

BRUCE:
They were busy. they had a previous engagement.

SAM:
They did.

GREG:
[Branchelaurus] Every 5 seconds there's branches or things being...

SCOTT:
Oh no!

SAM:
What a horrible dream.

GREG:
What did we put in the... Wasn't there something in the puddle that we...

SCOTT:
Water!

GREG:
LAUGHS

BRUCE:
Yeah, horrible dye, no doubt.

GREG:
There was dye in there because we didn't want to put
dirt in there because of your contacts.

SAM:
My policy is to soak Bruce's membranes in as many strange
dyes and liquids and potions and chemicals as possible.

BRUCE:
Yeah, but I feel
 [FAKE COUGHING]
pretty good.
[FAKE COUGHING].

LAUGHS

BRUCE:
I think this property had some good trees on it but other trees were kinda wimpy so a tree like there was a ported, there were ported trees and then spray foam trees.

SCOTT:
Don't torture me. I didn't even know that. Now it'll torment me.

BRUCE:
Yeah, the tops of the trees are ike just horribly cut off. they join back into little tiny trees.

GREG:
That one, too. You couldn't pan up too high because
the trees just stopped after about 9 feet.

BRUCE:
I have a photograph of it taken about a year ago and those
phoney trees that all the stuff is crumbling off it but it's still there.

GREG:
You're kidding.

BRUCE:
Yeah.

SCOTT:
 Oh, man. maybe we have phoney [timite].

GREG:
That was a great 360 shot... I mean all the way around.

BRUCE:
Right.

SAM:
Bob uh Dyke...

BRUCE:
Look, a matte shot.

SAM:
And a Mr. Hitchcock shot those paint... uh, matte paintings.

BRUCE:
Right.

SAM:
Tom Hitchcock, correct?

BRUCE:
Right, from Michigan... at the time it was Magic Lantern Productions.

SAM:
We had a wonderful script supervisor on this picture and the str... the most horrible thing happened at the preview in New York. She came out crying, I ran into her, "You didn't put my name in the credits" and i went GASP! Oh, my god, we forgot to put her name in the credits!

SCOTT:
She shoulda supervised that.

BRUCE:
 What was her name?

G & SAM:
Fran Zwass.

BRUCE:
I think it was Fran Zwass.
It's okay cause she threatened to quit every day cause
Sam would move furniture around for every shot...

GREG:
Or the blood would never match.

BRUCE:
[IMITATING FRAN ZWASS]
“Sam, Sam, it will not match, Sam!
[IMITATING SAM RAIMI]
“Don't worry about it, through the camera it looks fine.”
[IMITATING FRAN ZWASS]
“No, Sam!”

GREG:
She used to yell at us cause we didn't put the blood in the same place twice.
And she'd be like “No, black over here, green over here!”

SAM:
Yeah, but you know what?
We were the worst people at continuity.
We needed her and she did a good job.

BRUCE:
Right.

SAM:
Very good job.

BRUCE:
Especially shooting out of sequence.
We shot the, all the night stuff...

BRUCE & GREG:
First.

BRUCE:
And we had to estimate for example what certain...

GREG:
Yeah

BRUCE:
things would look like, which you're always wrong.

GREG:
Up, there you are wiping it off!

BRUCE:
I better get that makeup off.

GREG:
Wait, here's the first uh...

SAM:
A miniature! Look out!

BRUCE:
 Look out, a miniature. That's right.

SAM:
Don't make me act with that thing!

BRUCE:
I had to keep taking my makeup off in order to add more.

GREG:
Yeah.

BRUCE:
 If you just kept adding on throught the course of this movie,
I woulda been the grey man.

GREG:
 Sam...

SAM:
You loved hitting my car didn't you?

BRUCE:
I did love hitting your car.

SAM:
You were a vandal to my car in the last picture.
That was always a cool matte painting. I like that

GREG:
That's a great shot.

SAM:
Bob Dyke and Tom Hitchcock, they projected Bruce into that little area.

GREG:
As opposed to Bruce projecting himself.

BRUCE:
Well sure, but I had to yell so I hadda project, too.

SAM:
 I smell a blue screen shot!

GREG:
Uh oh.

BRUCE:
 I'm terrified of all these blue screen shots, as you can see.
Cut to Sam's car dragged into the studio on it's last legs 6 months later.

GREG:
LAUGHS

SAM:
That car was as healthy as the day it...